As a food critic, I’ve had the pleasure of dining at an array of restaurants. However, with great food comes great responsibility, particularly when it comes to dining etiquette. In my opinion, the bare minimum responsibility of any patron visiting a restaurant in America is to pay their tab and act respectfully. If you’re doing those two things, you’re meeting your obligations as a consumer. On the flip side, restaurants also bear their own responsibilities. They are expected to provide food and drink at an agreed-upon price, clearly outlined on the menu, and to deliver those meals in a timely manner.
However, things can get complicated when it comes to tipping. If a restaurant has a tipping policy, it should be communicated to patrons before service begins. This transparency allows diners to decide whether they want to stay and dine.
Unfortunately, I have observed a disturbing trend in the restaurant industry: waitstaff complaining about the very tipping system they have opted into. Let me be clear: if you choose to work in an industry that heavily relies on tips, it is both arrogant and entitled to shame or guilt-trip patrons into leaving larger tips. Tips are voluntary by law; they wouldn’t be called tips if they weren’t.
As a diner, you should tip as much as you feel is appropriate. There have been times when I have tipped far above and far below 20%.
Consider this: if you offer a restaurant’s staff 10% on top of your meal’s cost, that should not be deemed inadequate. If that isn’t good enough for the server and they don’t appreciate your help, you should not internalize that as your problem.
It’s important to remember that tipping should reflect the service you receive and the time spent serving you, not merely a standard percentage based on the total bill. If servers earn more in tips than what constitutes a fair and living wage—say $38 an hour in 2025—then one could argue that they are overpaid.
As patrons, we are not responsible for covering the shortcomings of a restaurant’s antiquated wage structure. Our duty is to settle our bill and treat the staff with respect. Should you choose to leave a generous tip, that is completely your prerogative. However, it is essential not to allow anyone to pressure or guilt you into exceeding what you feel comfortable giving.
In the world of food criticism, we often discuss the importance of respect—respect for the chef, respect for the ingredients, and respect for the entire dining experience. However, respect is a two-way street. Restaurants must also respect their patrons’ time and money, just as patrons must respect the restaurant’s staff and policies.
I genuinely appreciate the exceptional service provided by skilled servers, but it’s vital to bear in mind that they have chosen a profession that relies on tips, a system that should not be enforced through guilt or pressure.
And to all patrons, remember: pay your tab, act respectfully, and don’t allow anyone to guilt-trip you into leaving a tip that you are not comfortable with.
Furthermore, percentage-based tipping due to inflation is a cause for concern because the service remains the same, yet more money is expected. Restaurant owners resist raising prices and paying living wages because tipping is tax-advantaged; they do not pay taxes on tipped income. If they were to raise prices and increase revenue, they would pay more in income tax. Conversely, if they paid more in wages, it would result in a greater tax write-off.
I love the service of good servers, but it’s important to remember they chose a profession where they rely on tips, not one where tips are guaranteed or collected by bullying or encouraging duress of the patron.
I want to take a moment to give a shout out to those restaurants that are paving the way by paying their staff above minimum wage and expressing a clear message that tips are never expected but always appreciated. Your commitment to fair compensation and respect for your employees is commendable, and it creates a healthier work environment while fostering goodwill with patrons. I hope your doors are flooded with generous customers who recognize the value of your stellar service and dedication. Keep up the great work; you’re setting a standard for the industry that others should aspire to!
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